


Try

by Bayyvon



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 00:50:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/628394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bayyvon/pseuds/Bayyvon





	Try

It’s dark in Juice’s tiny two bedroom house. It usually is. But it’s quiet, and lonely and dark tonight, and it hurts. Even with the older man in the bedroom across the hall, it still seems too empty. Juice prods at a tender blue and purple bruise that fills up most of the right side of his face, and winches, remembering the hands that left them. The way those same hands had always been light, and careful when they touched. The thought hurts him more than he had expected it to, and if it weren’t for the fact he could hardly move, he’d curl up into a fetal position and stifle his oncoming sob. Juice feels it, it’s a deep sob and it wrenches through his chest, leaving fire to weave its way through heavy lungs, a dull ache forms behind his eyes, and he feels warm tears rolling off his face.

The moment that noise hit his ears, Chibs’ white hot rage dissipates. What he’d felt towards Juice, what’d unleashed on him, that buildup of anger and emotion was gone, being replaced with something he didn’t bother to name. He wanted to get up, to talk to him, hold him, fix him. All these things he couldn’t do right now. Things he probably wouldn’t be able to do again. If Juice trusted you, it took a lot to break that bond, and the things he’d done hours before were sure to have torn him away from the Puerto Rican. The way those happy brown eyes had looked the moment he struck, the way he didn’t fight, or cry, or do anything. He just let himself take it. He thought he’d deserved it. And so had Chibs. ”I’m sorry,” was the only thing that had come out of Juice’s mouth. Something he said often, and had definitely meant it earlier. He’d kept whispering it to himself, almost like he was apologizing for existing, and in the kid’s head, he probably was.

The next morning, Juice slowly, painfully makes his way to the long, vertical hallway mirror to inspect the external damage. Swollen lip, black eye, the entire right side of his face was either swollen or blue and black, his arms were laced in blues and purples, he was missing a tooth in the far corner of his jaw. His chest hurt from the inside out though he saw nothing wrong with it, his left ankle as well. The cuts from the various rings were all over his face, But the physical wasn’t a big deal. The emotional conflict waging war with his head is what Juice saw the most. The part that reminded him that he still loved Chibs, and the part that was screaming that he deserved this. Juice hears Chibs’ voice carrying up the stairs, and he makes his way back to his room. He hides under an over sized hoodie, and a pair of too big jeans, and he makes his way downstairs.  
That ache comes back when Juice limps into the kitchen, looking at the floor, eyes dull and tired and distant. Chibs isn’t sure why, but he gets up. He pulls Juice to his chest, no matter the pathetic halfhearted tearful protests of “Don’t touch me.” and “Please…” He’s stiff, and he flinches every time Chibs breathes. It’s his turn to cry and whisper repetitions of “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” Juice sighs. “I…I deserve this.”

“No.” He rubs at his eyes before he looks at Juice. “You don’t.”

“Why not?” Juice just wants to fix whatever it is he did this time, anything to make Chibs happy again. But he also looks skeptical of not deserving the damage he’d received.

“What happens in the club, and what happens here are two different things. And I’m sorry.” Quiet tears are flowing again.

“Stop apologizing. Stop crying. Stop hurting. ….please.” He pleads.

“I can’t. Not until I fix what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“That’s what I mean! You should be upset with me. You shouldn’t even be talking to me right now, you get that? You should give yourself time. To be mad, and upset, and hurt.” Chibs runs a hand through his hair. “You’re so worried about me, that you’re not worried about you, idiot.”

“I….I just…”

“We’re gonna try and fix this, okay?”

“Okay… I love you.”

“I love you too, Juicy.”


End file.
